Shadow

I had a shadow I used to run from

One I couldn't battle, I couldn't over come

Seeing its darkness

Feeling its overwhelm

It seemed to surround me.

Its power profound

I ran behind walls, into alleys and underground

Hoping not to be seen, never be found

If I could only out run this part of me

I could survive, maybe set free

No one could see where I go or where I chose to hide

Thinking I was safer turning a blind eye

A life drained of color, a life I couldn't feel

A life I took a backseat and let the shadow take the wheel

Where I suffocated and refused the light in

A place that transformed into cold

Where the shadow only seemed to grow

Where the fear seemed to take hold

While I hid in the darkness,

Comforted by being alone

The walls began to close in on me.

Although I made it my new home,

Where I existed was in the unknown.

I looked around to see nobody

Except the shadow that still hovered next to me

Where it lingered, haunted, waited

Feeding the chill it had formulated

I found myself missing the sun, the feel of another's touch,

I realized the darkness had become my crutch

A hiding place the two of us suddenly outgrew

No longer a place I chose, only a place I withdrew

While running from the darkness of my shadow,

I had imprisoned myself

A masquerade into camouflage,

Had somehow morphed into sabotage

I looked up, and saw a sliver of sunlight in my view,

Against the grey wall I sat next to.

I lifted my finger to touch it.

To feel its warmth.

As I stuck my finger into the ray of the sun,

The shadow of my finger met my flesh becoming one

Connected for a moment, against the wall

The light, my shadow, my finger, us all

I pulled my finger back with curiosity

Watching the shadow disappear at the same rate before me

While feeling the remnants of warmth on my skin

I looked back at the grey wall, at the sliver of light mysteriously let in

At the place where both warmth and shadow met

And touched me in a way I wouldn't forget

Noticing my fear while enjoying the heat

I stood from the floor,

In the darkness of the shadows then out of the door

I walked into the light of the sunshine.

Gazing up into the blue sky

Feeling the rays above.

Seeing all I had ran from, what I had given up

I turned around to see my shadow following me.

I turned to face it instead of run.

There, under the direct light of the sun,

I saw how small my shadow had become

Standing toe to toe,

I saw it shrink, or did I grow?

I looked down at it on the ground, at my feet

Seeing it look back up at me from the concrete

I realized it did not chase me

As long as I didn't run

It only followed when I walked out into the sun

Yearning for the light and also the heat

As much as I needed, it too wanted to seek

It wasn't something to fear any longer

It was I who needed to grow stronger

Strong enough to face it

To acknowledge, to see,

It wasn't an enemy, just merely a part of me.

Sometimes big, sometimes small,

Sometimes a companion, sometimes it all

Both in light and in dark

A powerful piece of me

A piece I didn't have to hide

Just notice it for what it is

Both in the world and inside

It was nothing I had to outpace

My shadow was a part of me I only had to face

It was the running that made me misplaced